Let’s talk about red flags
Hmmm. okay this gonna be a fun one. Well I should preface with the fact that I have been boy crazy since I was little My first crush was Davy Jones from the Monkees. I would fantize that I could hop in the tv show and sing a song with him. Plus he as short so I thought it possible. My next crushes would Mac Culkin and JTT.
The one who meant the most to me of all my crushes was in 8th grade. His name was Derek and he was short he had beautiful hair and he was the class clown. We sat next to each other in Mrs Mcnulty’s class. Derek was my friend. Like legit my friend. Who knew who I was. I remember when Austin Powers came out we were so stoked. We laughed so hard in that movie then he came over to my house after and we played outside. We went in and out of pretending we were in the movie. I prayed he would kiss me. He did not. We would hang out at school then talk on the phone at night. One day I asked if we were dating and he was nervous and said yeah and I was nervous and prayed he would kiss me. He did not.
One day he was at my house and we were hanging out with my 4 year old nephew and he was so cool with my nephew and I thought he’s gonna be such a good dad. He leaned in a kissed me on the cheek. Later that week we started high school. All my friends said that it wouldn’t work with Derek because he was going to Acadian High and I was going to Lafayette High. We would talk on the phone but I felt he was distant. I wanted to hang out that weekend. He had plans. I was freshman. My boobs told me I could play the field. I was scared that I wasn’t getting enough attention from Derek so I told him we should break up. It is the one regret I have in all my years of dating. Im not saying we would have ended up together and have a son named Mike Meyers but I am saying that I read that wrong. I let my insecurities demolish the first romantic relationship of my life. Since then I did meet Davy Jones and got a hug but the one that got a way was Derek.
See, I am not someone to give advice because I am no expert but I am a researcher and writer so I came up with a list of red flags. The reason I bring up Derek is because I think it is important in personal development to recognize how your first relationship may have begun a toxic pattern. Mine did, But, lets talk about flags
This is uncomfortable for me because I have done most of them at some point with some Joe
1. They can't stop telling you how perfect you are.
2. Let’s get married on the third date. I always thought this was romantic cause I saw in a movie once but oh lord Thats a mess. Why they so available and why do they need some where to live
3. They try to drive a wedge between you and your family and friends.
4. They roll their eyes at you
5. They describe all their exes as crazy
If I even hear this now I run away. This is the biggest deal breaker. Cause these mother fuckers take no accountability for how they made those exes crazy and you know in your soul that they did.
6. They go below the belt in an argument.
7. They blame others for the fact that they never got ahead.
8. They're cruel to their parents.
9.Their attitude changes on a dime.
10 .They're secretive about little things.
11. They cheated on their last partner with you.
12. They demand your phone, email and social media passwords.
13. They guilt trip you every chance they get.
14. They have different financial values than you and refuse to do anything about it.
15. They make you feel stupid.
List By Claire Hannum Self Mag
